


Dreaming

by Klainetrainunicorn



Category: Supernatural, destiel - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Letter, M/M, Mentions of Possible Character Death, unestablished relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-12
Updated: 2016-07-15
Packaged: 2018-07-23 15:34:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7469169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Klainetrainunicorn/pseuds/Klainetrainunicorn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set in 11X23 [Season Finale]. Dean leaves a letter in the glove box of ‘Baby’ Sam gives these pages to Cas, because he thinks he deserves to know</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

And I could feel it in the tremble of his muscles. I could feel it without touching him. It was rolling off him in waves. I know he loves me. And that aint some sorta self-confident arrogant crap that I came up with out of some kinda Narcissus complex. 

His eyes are so raw, I don’t think you’d ever understand how raw they are. How blatant they are, how shameless compared to rest of him. The rest of him curls up and hides ready for another blow after freaking blow to his back. But his eyes are free.  
When he looks at me, though his face is set in a frown. His eyes are soft. They, for the seconds where our eyes meet, look like they could almost be peaceful. Like the sorta way you’d imagine his eyes to look if he slept with his eyes open.

He’s dreaming. I moves somethin’ that terrifies me inside, at the thought of being his dream. Like the way the sea moves a row boat in the parts of the sea furthest away from land. And I feel like while he’s floating somewhere in the shallows, that love, that pure fucking love will be the ripples than pull him into rocks.  
He’s precious and he doesn’t even know it. I’m sure in his mind he imagines himself to be a tool in my arsenal. Or Chucks. Or whomever can save the right people. Namely me.  
But fuck he’s so much more. 

I know that. I know who he is Sam. And he’s not just Castiel. A seraph. Or Cas, my ally. Or even Cas my friend.  
He’s Castiel, the last true definition of the word angel. The reason I carried on, that I’m alive, and the world is right.  
If I die tonight Sammy, never let the Hell, Heaven or Earth forget him.  
Or yourself for that matter. Do you know how much he loves you Sammy? Enough to fight an archangel for you and win for even a few seconds. And not just any. Lucifer.  
Jesus Christ, Sam, I’m fully convinced that Cas’ heart could obliterate any evil that came our way. And his heart alone.  
Sammy you need to look after him. Because one day it will. I know it will.  
More than that. He deserves to live, but even I’m not stupid enough to presume he’ll ever be as happy as he could if I was alive.  
He’s too involved. Too in love.

Sammy, god it will be near impossible for me to leave him. Just as hard as it would from you.

Because I love him. I love him so fucking much Sammy, I’m so in love with him and I cant say this to him because it will have that horrible bitterness in all the sweet and it wouldn’t taste right coming off my tongue. Because I wanted to whisper those words to him when we were sat on deck chairs by a lake at sunset. Like the place in my dreams.

He’s mine too. The one I could never have. But I wanted so so bad. I wish I wasn’t always a second from death. Because then I could say it and he’d know I meant it.  
Promise me to love him Sammy, love him like you’d love me.  
And that brings me to-“


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The hyphen at the end bothers Cas, he turns to Sam for closure and doesn't realise Dean is watching.

Cas lowered the paper slowly. 

Not for the first time, he felt breathless because of Dean Winchester. But he couldn’t help but notice this time was entirely different. Usually it was mixed with shadows, that loomed   
and darkened parts of Cas’ face.

But this time it was all light. Blinding, suffocating, beautiful light. He’s never explained to Dean how he saw him, and it wasn’t by his vessel or his metaphorically soul that only   
surfaced in bursts whenever Dean allowed. 

Angels see souls, auras. And good lord, when Cas first lay a hand on Dean’s it was broken, ravaged, twisted. But Cas loved it for the candle it still held, one pulsating orb that undulated in the core. His heart. He loved his heart. Even if at the time Dean didn’t know it consciously, Cas has spent so long, alone, faithfully and meticulously sticking the shattered remains back together.

And Dean’s soul had fallen in love with him. Had clung to him. 

He didn’t know that it stirred something in him to put him back to Earth. He didn’t know that out of curiosity, Cas had gone back, visited Mary Winchester upon her conception. Had seen the joy in her eyes and had spoken briefly with her, only to tell her angels are watching over him.  
She would later realise who ‘He’ was.

But another thing that he’d never told him, was Dean had angel eyes. This letter proved it. He saw things in Cas that were way past skin deep. Things Sam for example had never been capable of seeing.

And all of this started to settle in Cas, breathing slowly became more manageable. Because maybe being with Dean wouldn’t be as impossible as they both thought.  
The only thing that put Cas on edge was the little unfinished sentence. It played on his mind more that it should have. The logical side of him assumed that he had moved on to talk to Sam about himself. But the part that dreamed, imagined a thousand other admissions.

He teleported to the study where Sam was waiting.

The tall man jolted and spilled his coffee over his shirt.  
“Crap…Cas you gotta stop doing that.”  
“I’ve read the pages.”  
Sam lifted his head dabbing himself with a rag.  
“Yeah? What do you think?”  
A smile curved Cas’ lips and Sam returned it.  
“It moved me…and the feelings are most definitely mutual. But I need to ask you something.”  
Sam turned in his seat.  
“Sure man, shoot.”

Cas hesitated but approached him folding the letter back up as he went and he sat in the chair next to him. “I was just wondering how the last sentence ended.”  
Sam smiled and looked off wistfully. “Yeah that sentence was a pretty big statement but I really am not sure if he’d want me to tell you that now…it’s-“  
“They were instructions.”

Cas didn’t even need to turn to know the voice behind him. Dean obviously.  
Footsteps as the man came into the room. And a scraping as he pulled up a chair to sit between him and Sam. He turned to him.  
Their eyes met and thought they were familiar with each other’s eyes, the gaze was new.

“What for…” Cas asked curiously.  
“Me and Sammy have rings. Sammy has Dad’s. I have Mom’s. I asked him to give mine to you…”  
Cas’ heart jumped. “And consider it a promise. That I’d wait for you in heaven…or hell or wherever I was. Because I was yours.”

There was a silence. A pregnant pause in which Sam coughed awkwardly and mumbled something about getting more coffee.  
Neither of man broke the gaze while he left.  
“So…will you take me?”  
“You make it sound a chore to do so. I’d be deliriously happy to take you.”

A radiant smile broke out across Dean’s entire face.   
“Fuck it…” he murmured and he grabbed Cas’ face, he kissed him hard and for once he held nothing back. He was free.


End file.
